so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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