READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
