he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize