He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
