i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
