We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
