every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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