I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
