One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
