how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
