I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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