do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I need to stop coming to work sober
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
