Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
