I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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