Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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