Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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