I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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