You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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