I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
