i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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