I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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