Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
