Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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