Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize