Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize