I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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