Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
