porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
