I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
