dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize