My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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