So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
