I just cut my nipple shaving
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
