i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
