Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
