everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
