She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
areolas are like halos for boobs.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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