This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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