i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
