I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize