1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
