We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
