discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize