He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
