How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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