I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
