Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
