I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
