even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
