Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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