your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize