If i come over, it means nothing
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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