Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
