She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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