It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize