I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
