I showed him my bush... on skype.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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