You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
