I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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