I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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