Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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