After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
