Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
